she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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