? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
