you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
