3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so explain again why im purple
no
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
