I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
