Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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