Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
