you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize