cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm bleeding and have questions
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
