I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
