problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
