all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
