Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
