No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
