Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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