Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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