Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I love having hate sex.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
