I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
