I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
