I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
