dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
