May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My bed smells like the plague
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
