i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm way too hungover for life right now
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
