did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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