We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize