it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
