Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
