He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
