All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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