He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
