I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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