oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
