it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
