I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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