Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
