im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
