3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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