As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize