I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Couch. On fire.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
