Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
