Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
