I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
