there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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