I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
