You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
