idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
