don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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