ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
