i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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