I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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