Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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