Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
