one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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