I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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