Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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