did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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