Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
PANTIES FOUND
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
