Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
