dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
vagina is talking i cant
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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