Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
