shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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