Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
